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to lose hair - no, I have to be more precise: to lose MY hair dream about it, even, frequently losing hair, a sign, obviously, of aging - of losing control, your entire life, change control no control about your body, it is a general thing, about your life "your entire life, change" my great-grandmother Elisabeth, on her lap my grandmother Maria, my great-uncle Theo, who died, 17 years old, in WWII,  my great-aunt Klara after my daughter's birth, I was 42 years old, my hair fell out every day, and covered the floor (white) of our bathroom, it looked awful it made me weep I always used to be the kind of woman, to whom hairdressers exclaimed something like: Oh my God, your hair is just soooo beautiful and full; and my childhood neighbor Frau Baden used to grab it on the street, embarrassing: your hair is like the mane of a black horse, so strong and wild. I blushed, on the street but still: first sign of o...

"You think that it will never happen to you, that it cannot happen to you, that you are the only person in the world to whom none of these things will ever happen, and then, one by one. they all begin to happen to you, in the same way they happen to everyone else." from Winter Journal by Paul Auster (his is the translation of a text I wrote in January 2013 in german, it is not a verbal translation, but it is as close as I could get with my english) A few weeks ago I had to sneeze while getting dressed in the early morning, and suddenly I couldn’t really move anymore without suffering the gravest pain. Something had snapped in my body. Something that felt like an electric shock and it shot into my lower back and sent more and more little electric shocks into my right leg. Walking became a sort of limping, while I basically dragged my right leg behind. I dragged myself down our very long hallway to the bathroom by simultaneously trying to hold on to the walls with both h...