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Afraid to leave "the zone"

Today was a good day. I awoke at about 6 a.m. to a blue sky. The air was cold, but also mild. August feels like october, but thats okay. I was very happy to be alive, until I remembered, that I was supposed to fly to New Mexico in exactly 7 days. Not good! I was afraid to go to New Mexico. I stayed in bed another hour and the fear was like a storm in my body. Also in my brain. So many thoughts about accidents, misfortunes, bears, the darkness, the loneliness, losing my mind actually. This has been so every morning for the past 2 or 3 weeks. I am nervous to go. I am afraid of all the things, which could happen, to me, but more so to Lilly. Am I endangering my little daughter by bringing her to New Mexico? Mainly, I am afraid to leave my comfort zone. So I hear my dead mother’s voice very much alive in my head: „You are crazy! Are you crazy? What do you want in New Mexico? Do you want to be killed by terrorists? What will you do, if a bear attacks you? Are you crazy to leave y...