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Es werden Posts vom November, 2015 angezeigt.

Mira Gonzalez" Ich werde niemals schön genug sein, um mit dir schön sein zu können"

„dass du nichts erschaffen oder fühlen kannst, das niemand zuvor gefühlt hat“
Eine Bekannte überreichte mir vor ein paar Tagen ein Buch mit Gedichten mit den Worten: „Ich kann damit nichts anfangen. Das hört sich an wie meine alten Tagebucheintragungen aus Teenagertagen. Vielleicht magst Du es ja.“ Ich war mir nicht sicher, ob ich das nun als Kompliment verstehen sollte im Sinne von: „Du bist ja so literarisch. Vielleicht kapierst du, wie die Autorin das meint, ich nicht.“ Oder ob es eher eine Art desillusionierter Feststellung über mich war war, frei nach dem Motto: „Du bist ja dafür bekannt, dass du Teenagertagebücher gerne liest.“ Das Buch hieß „Ich werde niemals schön genug sein, um mitdir schön sein zu können“ von einer offensichtlich in den USA gerade sehr angesagten Autorin, Mira Gonzalez. Ich hatte von ihr noch nie gehört. Das Buch heißt im Original „I will never be beautiful enough to make us beautiful together“. Das ist wichtig. Denn in dieser sehr schönen, kleinen Ausgabe …

overnight

when the bodies fell in #paris there  was a storm howling in front of my window the tree waved back and forth heavy rain drops began to fall
in the morning before I even knew about #beirut I noticed shivering in my much too light jacket that the weather had changed all the trees were naked
suddenly I saw how scary life was so ever changing nothing remains the same peace like a distant memory already I had wasted it by taking it for granted
© Susanne Becker

Siri Hustvedt - The Blazing World "I'm your mirror."

„Medea mad with vengeance.“
“The truth is, Harriet was striking. She had a beautiful, strong, voluptuous body. Men stared at her on the street, but she wasn’t a flirt, and she wasn’t socially graceful or prone to small talk. Harriet was shy and solitary. In company, she was usually quiet, but when she spoke, she was so forceful and intelligent, she frightened people, especially boys her own age. They simply didn’t know what to make of her. Harry sometimes wished she were a boy, and I can say that had she been one, her route would have been easier. Awkward brilliance in a boy is more easily categorized, and it conveys no sexual threat.”
I am still awestruck, because I finished "The Blazing World" bySiri Hustvedtthis morning. It is afternoon now, late afternoon, but I am still walking around and the only thing, I can truly think about, is Harriet Burden, the heroine, the artist, the crazy woman, the strong woman, the courageous woman at the center of this truly marvellous novel. …

The best advise I ever got ...

...came from my former therapist, Frau Hering. She was an old woman, when I came to meet her. I think, she was about 77 or so years old, a kind of a sage. I found her through friends, shortly after I had arrived in Berlin in 1995, to live here for a year (this year is still not over btw!!)  I was 31 years old or so and she was my first ever therapist. After moving to Berlin I decided, that it was about time to work out some difficulties and shine some clearing light into some corners of my past and my present, and while we were at it, maybe even of the future.

I went to see her once a week. Every session cost about 100 Deutschmarks, which was A LOT OF MONEY for me back than. But somehow I never asked her for a refund or to pay next time. I always managed to get that money together, which seems, looking back, like a freaking miracle. 
She had a small apartment in Waidmannslust, a northern part of Berlin, to which I took the S-Bahn. I lived in Schöneberg, later in Neukölln, so the trip wa…