Donnerstag, 3. Oktober 2013

I am in hiding

I was sixteen
I was Simone de Beauvoir
Deny your calling
and you will be lost
The walls of my tiny room
were covered with brown flowers,
a very narrow pattern,
the walls closing me into their skinny arms,
a tight embrace, barely breathable,
a very good place to hide though,
a very good place to
take a notebook and a pen
and to start my first
I am Simone de Beauvoir
I live in Paris
in a wild and open
relationship with Jean Paul Sartre.

I am in hiding,
lost in the space
I created by will power
around me,
in my own world,
on my own terrain,
behind a veil of stories,
mostly funny,
some sad,
all designed to attract
whatever: luck, love, money.
(Actually: I never would have minded the money)
(Actually: I can be a little obsessed with money and the not having of it.)

I am in hiding
and can not find myself,
lost behind this veil of
too many words,
too many faces -
a veil?
no, no, sorry: a brickwall!
Can you heal me?
Answer: If you don’t heal yourself,
you will not be healed.
If you loose yourself,
nobody can find you.

© Susanne Becker

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