January

this will be a year without

it never is about how much you are loved

but always about how much ... you know

this will be my year without hope

which sounds bad, but is not,

but is actually good

because, without hope,

there is room for truth.

this will be a year of truth

over the past days

a new bird has been coming

to my feeder on the balcony

its head, so little, is almost white,

like eggshells,

like champagne,

its wings are of a very light brown,

its voice is crystal clear

and sings a beautiful song,

while devouring my nuts.

yesterday it brought a mate,

looking just like it,

also singing, also devouring,

on my balcony,

while the cat and I were watching -

me carefully, the cat in eager hope,

through the glass door

it never has been about how much you receive,

but always about how much you give -

which is much more complicated

than you might think

on first glance

                                                     

this will be a year without hope -

empty corners to be flooded -

let me fill you with the waters of clarity.

this will be a year without

- all gone

and I still hope to be

 saved from drowning

in these empty corners,

in those waters of clarity.

© Susanne Becker