Freitag, 20. Dezember 2013


under the full moon
in the middle of spring
I found within myself
alone and wrapped in
beautiful thoughts and wrapped
            I admit it: in dreams, so unreal, so ethereal
a reservoir of feelings
unbeknownst to me

they opened my heart

from the centre of your
neverending pain you ran
up to the edge of the meadow
over the hill
the clouds overhead
looking like swans
travelling to neverland          
remember: clouds are not the sky
            which remains forever unchanged
            by their endless formations
untouched by every change
will the sky be always the sky - blue and deep
will your pain be always your pain - deep and dark

swans do love differently
they never leave their mates
only death can bring separation

you throw yourself into the water
which is cold
colder than you expected
but you are used to pain of all kinds
(pain of the unexpected)
they are your home
you are so naked
and vulnerable
it is almost winter
the ice bites into your skin
under your yelling breath
you swim
stroke after arduous stroke
and try to reach
your destination
away away away
do not touch me
ready to drown in all those waves
of desperation that have become you
over the years -

so ready to never love again

© Susanne Becker


  1. This is a very satisfying piece to read and read again, loosening the knots and opening them.

    1. thank you Ravenna! Makes me happy that you say that! I am always insecure about what readers might find in my words-but here as in every other poem, a story is told and as always, I try to open the knots by writing a poem, knots that in reality often remain unopened, which is kind of the nature of reality I suppose - one of my reasons to be grateful for poetry, for writing in general: you can open knots here and bring some of the poetry back into reality