Sonntag, 15. Juni 2014

just observe

just observe
don't judge

not good enough
is like the ultimate separation
self defense
out of pain or fear
to be rejected
all the time
it felt like rejection
falling off a cliff
falling off the cliff of life
into nothingness – not death
just nothing – somewhat pure
yet even this was without
meaning or depth
falling forever
falling into outer space
this total emptiness was scary
become the alien you always were
anyway – and it felt like:
washing the dishes
the most ordinary thing in the world
                                                                       washing the dishes is not good enough for me
having to wash dishes every day is scary
every water was, I don’t know why,
mostly shallow – nobody
shared himself/herself with anybody
nobody wanted to drown
how do you drown in shallow water?
nobody wanted to drown in feeling
separation was the rule
of togetherness, of family
the food the water the air
and not good enough
was a very good way to deal with it

© Susanne Becker 

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