Write an elegy

Your death happened

in the middle of life.

Your death happened

for uncounted years

every day

in the middle of life.

We knew we would loose you.

We never talked about it.

It was a certainty,

lingering like a dark shadow over our heads,

that death was part of you

always.

We never talked about it,

never talked at all.

Talking was not part of the family legacy.

True is: Your shadow was the light of my life.

True is: Back than I took shadows for light.

Your shadow was dark

yet colourful, compared to the rest.

Your shadow was creative.

You could create anything with your hands.

Could fix everything with your hands.

Should’ve been a creator,

Should’ve been -

Should’ve been -

ALIVE

There was never a laugh.

Your shadow was not witty,

Not ever.

Bitter – yes

Cynical – yes

I took every cry for a laugh.

I can forget you

Not.

Your legacy shaped my life

and it was good to have your shadow

protecting me from compromising myself
too often. It was good to have your shadow

guiding me on a path of my own

(not finished not finished not finished).

I keep your face in my garden.

In my heart grows your throat.

The signs of strangling blossom like purple roses

and cover my dreams with a thousand plans!