Her feelings – green like the ocean
She still was living at home
feeling a strange connection to her father
who always held this green bottle
in his hand, sitting in the garden
by his feet the dog.
They went never out of town.
Her entire family was born here in this town.
She knew, she should call it her home,
but could not; and looked at the dog,
who was born here too and licked her father’s
hand, whose eyes stared into the garden,
whose other hand grasped the bottle
desperately. There was no world beyond this bottle,
for him it seemed. This little town,
the wilderness of their garden –
her father could not find his way home.
She would always remain loyal towards her father.
No doubt, she would be as loyal as the dog.
He looked at her now, this dog,
questioning her feelings, green like the bottle,
like the ocean, her feelings – but not for her father.
She wanted to leave this town
so badly; but knew if she would not stay to be his home,
father would hang himself in the garden.
Not a doubt, her father – one tree of this precious garden –
she felt a burden, the eyes of the dog,
even eyes, accusing her of what? everywhere in this home
even eyes, she thought, in the contents of this bottle,
running down his throat. Peaceful, almost, he sent her into town,
he needed another bottle every day, her father.
But still, she knew, he could not help it, her father,
could not help it, would hang himself in the garden
one day. Before he had found the dog,
his only friend now, he had owned a little store in the center of their town,
hardware. Yet this loneliness was inevitable and even the bottle
could not cure it – this home –
lessness. One day, after the dog will be dead, every bottle
empty, buried in the garden, the father dead –
she will leave this town, which is not her home and will look for the ocean.
May 13th, 1995