What'll happen next?

What’ll happen next?  

I pride myself in looking younger then I am

What’ll happen if people find

I do look my age?

Devastation.

What’ll happen, when my hair turns white?

Mourning.

-Getting old is not for pussies-

I pride myself in having a slender and still strong body.

What’ll happen when the first signs of aching arrive at my threshold?

knocking

I will ignore them as long as it works

that way

I will ignore myself as long as it works.

What’ll happen when the first signs of aging arrive at my threshold?

(Are you blind? They have been arriving for the past 20 years!)

Knocking

Slamming my front door open –

No! I still

WILL ignore them as long as it works

That way

I will ignore myself as long as it works.

I pride myself in being somebody I really want to be.

What’ll happen if I am in fact somebody else?

Somebody I dislike at the core of her being?

Ugly, badmouthing others (all the time, I mean ALL THE TIME)

I might be somebody

I would not want to meet –

I would not want to meet myself.

Desillusionment in absolution

Absolute Desillusionment

Since weakness is not en vogue

There is not much room to continue gracefully

 A life which leads into weakness unavoidably

Inevitably there will come this moment

Where somebody has to carry me over my threshold

Not for romantic reasons

But just plainly because I can not walk myself

Anymore

Ever

Not walking I will never reach a turning point

One way street

I might be crawling

out of this